It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
