I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
