addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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