sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
