She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
