what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize