Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
where am i from again
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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