Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
