I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
