I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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