why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
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