Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
