Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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