OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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