pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
