So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
