no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
