Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize