you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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