I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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