I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
