It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
