you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
