walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
