so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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