dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
