I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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