I'm lost and stupid without you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
