My pussy is not your playground.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
