I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
