I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
