so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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