The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
