what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
