thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
