Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
