My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
