fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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