Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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