ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
