Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Even the bartender felt bad for me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
