I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
