we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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