I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
