question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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