i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
