the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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