My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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