Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
