so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
