what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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