im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
