I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
