He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
