I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
