C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
