wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
