I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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