Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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