He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
