i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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